Son Heung-min's Golden Boot earns classically chaotic Tottenham Champions League spot

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Miracles were never supposed to be so easy - and as Tottenham sealed their fourth protocol, Son Heung-min seized a Golden Boot at Letsby Avenue.

Three months ago, after a grim defeat at Burnley left Spurs seven points adrift of Champions League orbit, head coach Antonio Conte warned they would need supernatural assistance to dine out at Europe's top table again. But in north London, where finishing fourth is considered a trophy, it was Arsenal's turn to hope for a miracle – and they never had a prayer.

And as the dispiriting news of Tottenham's cakewalk filtered through to the Emirates, two-goal Son - joining Mohamed Salah at the top of the Premier League scoring charts - was the Gunners' troll in the park. In fairness, he could not have wished for a more compliant defence to dissolve in his wake. Norwich were hopeless.

But if they turned this season into a West End stage show, it would have to be called the Spursy Boys. Only Tottenham could be eliminated from the Thursday Night Pub League in Europe and recover to qualify for the Champions League.

Only Spurs could lose four out of five against Chelsea, Southampton, Wolves and Burnley - with the only respite being a glorious heist at champions Manchester City. And only the Lilywhites could go into the final day of the season with a congenital fear of lasagne – but make it look a piece of cake.

Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg had already spooned a simple chance over the top before the early goal Spurs craved. The Dane's long ball sent Rodrigo Bentancur galloping into a postcode of his own and the