Phubbing: How your phone could be ruining your relationship

For Amy*, it was a distance that gnawed away at her relationship slowly, then ate it whole. 

"I'd get home from work and go to talk to him, but he'd always be on his phone scrolling Reddit or Instagram, barely looking up to register my presence or what I was saying."

Amy, a 31-year-old account manager from London, was with her partner for six years before things broke down in 2021, in part due to his lack of communication and focus on his phone.

"Whenever I'd raise how I felt about it, he'd be dismissive. It was a small thing that grew huge in my head and added to my feelings of being ignored in the relationship." 

Increasingly prevalent in the age of smartphones, this relationship red flag has a name: “Phubbing”, meaning snubbing your partner to spend time on your phone. 

A Turkish study, conducted by Niğde Ömer Halisdemir University, found that phubbing negatively impacts long-term romantic partners in particular, leading to “increased conflict and reduced intimacy in relationships.”

The scientists examined 712 married individuals, with an average age of 37, measuring their marriage satisfaction, communication skills and phubbing habits. In conclusion, those that felt more phubbed reported feeling less satisfaction in their marriage. 

“Conflicts due to phubbing may lead to disagreements between couples and may harm the sense of belonging,” says Izzet Parmaksiz, lead author of the study, which was published in the journal Computers in Human Behaviour.

“Since we cannot eliminate the use of telephone and internet from our lives, it is important for married individuals to be aware of how they can use these technologies correctly in terms of relationship satisfaction,” Parmaksiz explains.

Phubbing also isn't confined to long-term