Frenkie De Jong, Manchester United and the money it would take for you to accept eternal misery – The Warm-Up

TUESDAY’S BIG STORIES Cash for tears Ad/> How much would someone need to pay you to be miserable? Not just a bit down in the dumps, but unfiltered, sweeping and endless despair? £1,000 a week? £10,000 a week? £100,000 a week? Transfers‘Doesn’t know the word pain’ – What Martinez could bring to Arsenal or Man Utd13 HOURS AGO That is the question at the heart of the Manchester United project right now. ‘Can we pay someone enough money that, even though they know they will be really, really unhappy, they say yes anyway?’ Up until now, the accepted terms for endless despair in the post-Sir Alex era have ranged from around £100,000 [the likes of Morgan Schneiderlin] to £480,000 a week [the likes, or like, of Cristiano Ronaldo]. And now a new name is considering trading their happiness for wads of cash: Frenkie De Jong.

We’re all aboard the transfer merry-go-round at Old Trafford again, with the Dutchman becoming the latest to spend the entire summer wondering ‘can I really do it?’ One doesn’t simply sign for United in a heartbeat. Oh no. The process must take many weeks, sometimes whole transfer windows, as you lurch from definitely staying to definitely accepting wads of cash.

Right now, De Jong is sat between the two extremes. He certainly wants to stay at Barca, if given the choice, but then again… wads of cash. Of course, it would also spell a reunion with Erik ten Hag, the man who helped shape his craft at Ajax.

Big Erik is getting the band back together. Or at least the drummer and rhythm guitarist. Donny van de Beek is back from Everton, while De Jong is reportedly soon to be subject of an €85m bid.