17 brilliantly banal Michael Owen quotes when he’s selling a book

You may have heard that Michael Owen has a new book out. 

Owen’s autobiography, Reboot, was serialised in the Mirror and contains a number of explosive passages.

From criticising Newcastle United and Alan Shearer to suggesting Liverpool tried to sell Steven Gerrard two years prior to his eventual departure, Owen has adopted a very different vibe to his usual manner, as the following quotes make clear…

1. “If there’s a bit of rain about, it makes the surface wet.”

2. “What a feeling it is to be a manager and bring someone on.”

3. “Footballers these days often have to use their feet.”

4. “I love these players with two feet.”

5. “Blackburn have got two strikers on and they’re both playing up front.”

6. “Whichever team scores more goals usually wins.”

I was on wildlife watch during my run in my garden this morning! pic.twitter.com/0iynjvEof7

— michael owen (@themichaelowen) May 30, 2016

7. When asked what he listens to in the car by The Guardian: “I don’t listen to anything. I don’t know why, but the car’s always been my own quiet space. When the kids are in the car they always want a song on, but I’m just happy with my thoughts.”

8. “When they don’t score they hardly ever win.”

9. “It’s a good run, but it’s a poor run, if you know what I mean?”

10. When asked what was the last film he saw by The Guardian: “It’s very boring, but I don’t watch films. I think I’ve seen about five in my life.

“I just can’t get into them. I do try – someone will say, ‘Watch this film, it’s great,’ and I’ll try but after half an hour, 40 minutes I can’t take it any longer.”

Watched my eighth ever film on the flight home. Must have been bored. #HateFilms

— michael owen (@themichaelowen) October 14, 2014

11. When reviewing every film he has seen