The chaotic chain of events that led to England appointing a good manager

We’re three and a half days into International Week, and Football Daily has yet to properly mention international football. That’s pretty good going, you have to give us that, but we were always going to run out of this particular road and so here we are. England, then, and this week’s appointment of erstwhile Halmstad, Örebo and Neuchâtel Xamax method man Mr Roy by Crystal Palace has served as an instant reminder of just how far the Three Lions have come in a relatively short space of time. Less than seven years, to be precise, a clock that started ticking when Mr Roy and his assistant Ray Lewington, in lieu of scouting Euro 2016 opponents Iceland, booked themselves tickets for a leisure cruise along the Seine. Oh Mr Roy! Aiiee Mr Ray! How could you?!

But it’s all worked out pretty well in the long run, even if there were some initial moments of pain. Iceland famously served up England their glutes, pickled and plated, after which Mr Roy sulked all the way through a valedictory press conference with his best Boris Johnson thunderface on. Remarkably this wasn’t the nadir, with pints of wine yet to be quaffed. But this chaotic chain of events led to the FA accidentally appointing a good manager, after which the team came within a couple of kicks of Euro glory, and might even have run Argentina close for the World Cup had only Harry Kane remembered that tip about not leaning back. Bittersweet memories, perhaps, but all a damn sight more enjoyable than Nice ’16 and for that we can only thank Mr Roy, Mr Ray and the law of unintended consequences. Hats and yacht caps off!

And so here we are now, with England facing their Euro Not 2020 nemesis Italy in Naples for the first of the 2024 qualifiers. Three points would be the