Simon Cowell breaks down as he reveals he felt he 'had nothing to live for' before 'pure love' with son Eric

Simon Cowell has been seen breaking down as he spoke about how the death of both his parents left him feeling like he 'had nothing to live for' before finding 'pure love' with his own son.

The music mogul has opened up in one of the most emotional interviews he's done on the Diary of a CEO podcast with Steven Bartlett, telling how after his losses he 'reached the point where nothing mattered' before being 'saved' when his partner Lauren Silverman told him she was expecting a baby.

Simon, 64, and Lauren, 46, welcomed their son back in 2014. "Before him I had reached the point where nothing mattered." the Britain's Got Talent star told Steven. "It all hit me so hard. Being on TV I felt like a clown because I was dying inside. I put on loads of weight.

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"If I was going to be hit by a bus the next day - I wasn't worried about anything like that. The whole time was dark. It was the lowest level. I can relate when people say that being alive doesn't matter anymore. I thought 'what have I got to live for'. I didn't want to take my own life but I thought 'if something terrible happens to me it wouldn't bother me'. I do still suffer with depression sometimes."

Simon was referring to the grief he felt following the loss of his parents. His dad Eric died in 1999 and his mum Julie passed away 16 years later, in 2015, and he's admitted only believing their "presence" is still with him has got him through his grief. "Having gone through – which was, now question, losing both my parents was the hardest thing that ever