PSG’s very modern parting of the ways with Mauricio Pochettino

The Fiver has never been dumped, and you can probably join the dots on that one. But we have enough of our fat finger on the pulse to know about the modern ways in which people have conscious uncoupling imposed upon them: the sudden “we need to talk”, the text, the FaceSpace status, the tears. Today, Paris Saint-Germain introduced a new one: the afterthought.

A couple of hours before stepping out with their new beau Christophe Galtier at a pre-arranged press conference, PSG slipped a cursory statement announcing Mauricio Pochettino’s departure on to their website. No emotional tribute, no montages, not even a paint-stripping argument over who gets to keep the Delicatessen Blu-ray. Usually football clubs try to create a veneer of decency by parting company (sic) with their manager a few days before officially appointing the replacement they’ve secretly been courting for weeks. The Fiver can’t decide whether PSG’s variation is: a) an unedifying disgrace; or b) a refreshing bit of honesty in an industry that mislaid its moral compass 20-odd years ago.

Related: PSG appoint Christophe Galtier as manager after sacking Pochettino

One thing’s for sure – the whole world and its dog knew this was coming. Pochettino and PSG suffered an irreconcilable difference when Real Madrid put them out of Big Cup. The fact Pochettino won Ligue 1 by September is neither here nor there. PSG are obsessed with winning Big Cup for the first time. And to add salt to the most pungent wound since DCI Roz Huntley checked her left arm for the last time, the most recent winners of the trophy are men who were sacked by PSG: Carlo Ancelotti and Thomas Tuchel.

After trying some of the most celebrated coaches from around the world, PSG have decided it’s