Hotline hacker uncovers foolproof way to get a job at Rangers as Mr Mischief turns Ibrox green and white

It's now four out in recent months at Rangers with John Bennett, James Bisgrove and Zeb Jacobs being joined by Creag Robertson in heading out the exit door.

The man in the street would do well to identify messrs Jacob and Robertson, however, the quartet's exits from Ibrox in recent months have created four vacancies that need filling. Yes, chairman Bennett's departure has been temporarily filled by John Gilligan, however, incomings are a neccessity.

And a Hotline wind-up merchant is willing to prep potential candidates about the only subject matter he reckons enters the mind of punters in light blue. Eddie Easson, Ballingry, said: "Another job going up on the jobs board at Ibrox. Chairman wanted, CEO wanted, now football operations wanted on top of an academy manager. Internal applicants only. Applicants must be able to say all the right words to the faithful about Celtic. Tearoom staff look like a safe choice."

Kenny Wilson, Moffat, added: "Rangers are sitting a mighty third in the league and still all their fans are more interested in knocking the Celtic team calling our players bang average! Let me tell you that not one of the current Rangers squad would get in our team. They’ve won one title in 13 years so if our players are bang average what does that say about your own players? People in glass houses and all that.

William Masson, Aberdeen, said: "It hasn't taken Luke McCowan to learn the Old Firm handbook, probably easier with the experience of all the trophies he won at Dundee. After seven games Aberdeen ARE title contenders. It’s unlikely we have the quality or depth to sustain this over the season but if we can’t enjoy the moment when things are going well what’s the point of playing the game."

The great