Heated Rivalry gave this former hockey player a panic attack — and hope stories like his belong on the ice

LISTEN | Former hockey players Matt Kenny and Brock McGillis talk about what it's like to watch Heated Rivalry:

The first time Matt Kenny watched hit TV show Heated Rivalry, he had a panic attack that lasted five days.

Kenny played competitive hockey as a child in Quebec. But as a closeted gay kid, he felt unsafe and ultimately, walked away from the sport. Those feelings popped up again as he watched the TV romance about two gay hockey players.

"It was this heavy feeling that hung over everything, which was, you know, the fear, the joy, the secrecy of love that was never supposed to exist in daylight and, you know, internal homophobia and shame — shame that players like me wore like a second skin," he told The Current's Matt Galloway.

Heated Rivalry is a Canadian television series that tells the love story of two pro hockey players on opposing teams. The adaptation of a novel by Canadian Rachel Reid has become a runaway hit for Crave, which says the show's debut is the most successful of its original series to date.

The show's steamy love scenes and unabashed romantic joy have people like Kenny talking about what it is actually like to be a gay man who plays competitive hockey — and expressing hope that the fear and pain they suffered will become a thing of the past.

As a child, Kenny played four to six days a week, taking long bus rides to other provinces for games, but in his late teens, he quit.

"It just kind of felt like I was giving everything to this sport, and deep down inside, I just knew that this sport I loved probably wasn't able to love me back," he said.

He first watched Heated Rivalry on Christmas Eve and posted about the show and his own secret teenage relationship with a fellow hockey player on