'Being queer is great but there's trauma' - It's A Sin's Nathaniel J Hall tackles 'gay shame' in new play 'Toxic'

If it hadn’t been for his autobiographical show First Time, actor and playwright Nathaniel J Hall says he might still be living with the ‘shame and secrecy’ of his HIV diagnosis.

The Stockport-born actor first unveiled the deeply personal show, about contracting HIV after having sex for the first time, some four years ago and it was critically acclaimed upon its debut. It was performed more than 100 times until it closed in March 2022.

But as Nathaniel, who recently appeared in Russell T Davies’ ground-breaking It’s A Sin, prepared to move on to his next idea, his own life was unravelling.

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“I was exiting a very problematic, co-dependent relationship,” Nathaniel, 36, says. “I found myself in risk-taking situations with drugs and alcohol, and there was a lot of co-dependency and maybe trying to fix one another in those dynamics. The pandemic and that time of focus allowed me to realise my own behaviour and how others were treating me.”

Those experiences became the foundations for what is now Nathaniel’s latest show Toxic. Whilst not fully autobiographical, Toxic follows a couple in a tumultuous and passionate queer relationship struggling to cope with the ghosts of their pasts. “It’s terrifying and exciting in equal measures,” he explains ahead of Toxic’s opening at HOME in October.

Opening on October 18, it tells the story of a couple who meet in Manchester in 2016, having been born into Thatcher’s Britain of race riots and rampant homophobia and growing up in the shadow of