‘Absolute tripe’: our readers on the worst football matches they have seen

Crystal Palace 0-3 Swansea, 2010As a Swansea fan you would think I have great memories of this one right? Wrong. Perhaps the biggest problem was that I didn’t get to see the game at all, despite a 400-mile round trip.

My wife and I left early enough, at 8am. Or so we thought. Until we caught roadworks in Bristol. And then there was a crash on the outskirts of London. And then I didn’t realise how much of a pain it is to get a car from the M4 and head downwards to South London, which has to be one of the most inhospitable road routes on earth.

Cut to 3pm and we’re listening on the radio as Scott Sinclair scores the opening goal. Great. We eventually get there at 3.55pm. I get out of the car and my knee gives way momentarily thanks to cramp. We walk towards the ground. We hadn’t bought tickets as it was pay on the day. “It’ll be fine,” we’d said. Except what they don’t tell you is that tickets go off sale the minute the game kicks off.

We hover around the ground for a while, listening to the Swans score two more goals. We appeal to a steward to let us in for the last 10 minutes. He does not. So we cut our losses and get back on the M4 and head home. We get caught up in traffic again in Bristol and don’t make it back until 10pm. A 14-hour day for absolutely nothing. Great times. Andrew, 41

Aston Villa 4-0 West Bromwich Albion, 1998 At Birmingham city centre I couldn’t find the right bus stop to Villa Park, causing me to get there just before kick-off. I had wasted so much time that I was desperate to go to the toilet, but there were huge queues to get into the ground and, once inside, there were huge queues for the toilets. Just when I thought I’d made it, a combination of stiff buttons on a new pair of Levis, button-up