Why confidence often grows with age - and how to fast-track it now

We’ve all heard the saying “confidence comes with age”. It rings true when you look at how sure of themselves many older people seem. Life experience, clearer priorities, and fewer hang-ups can help you feel more at ease.

But that’s not the whole picture. As Associate Professor Leanne Rowlands, Head of Undergraduate Psychology at Arden University, notes, confidence isn’t a prize handed out with decades. It’s a learnable skill - a mix of habits, thoughts, and behaviours you can build at any age.

With years come experiences: wins, losses, and everything in between. Each challenge you face gives you a rough map for the next one. You learn what you can handle, how to recover, and which routes get you through. That naturally boosts self-belief.

Younger adults are also more likely to chase approval, which can chip away at confidence. As you get older, you tend to back your own judgment more and compare yourself less to others or to a past version of yourself.

Priorities also sharpen. When you know what matters, choices become steadier, which breeds assurance. And because our brains like predictability, living through change gradually makes change feel less threatening.

Confidence isn’t strutting about with no doubts. It’s trusting you can cope, even when you don’t have all the answers.

Psychologist Albert Bandura called this self-efficacy - believing you can influence outcomes and handle difficulties. It sits alongside, but isn’t the same as, self-esteem.

There’s another key ingredient too: self-compassion. Treating yourself with fairness and kindness, rather than harsh criticism, helps you bounce back faster and face the next test with more grit.

So yes, confidence often grows with age - but it doesn’t have to wait.