When Jermain Defoe scored five goals that cost him a grand apiece

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever done? Not purchased, mind, but done.

Did you have a smoke where you shouldn’t have and picked up a fine? Get caught ‘jaywalking’ in America? Or maybe you stuck five past Wigan Athletic in one game and paid £5000 for it?

Ah, that last one only applies to Jermain Defoe, a true icon of the peak Barclays Premier League era.

It happened one dreary afternoon in North London on what, frankly, could have otherwise been the most boring Sunday of Premier League football.

With apologies to fans of all these clubs, a lineup of Bolton v Blackburn, Stoke v Portsmouth and Tottenham v Wigan can’t have exactly been the most appealing of Super Sundays, especially considering all but one of those teams, Spurs, finished in the bottom half in the 2009-10 season.

They weren’t exactly classic fixtures of the English calendar, but boy was Spurs v Wigan a veritable chef’s kiss of a peak Barclays match.

Here was Roberto Martinez’s Wigan, a few years before they would get relegated while winning the FA Cup, facing a Spurs side managed by Harry Redknapp who, of course, had Defoe and Peter Crouch up top and names like Niko Kranjcar knocking about along with Hureliho Gomes in goal.

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READ: Heurelho Gomes: ‘I told Redknapp I’d never play for him again – I regret it’

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Oh, and it ended 9-1 as well. Defoe really couldn’t have picked a better day to score five.

With Spurs one up at the break against relegation fodder, the match looked as if it would peter out as most do.

But Defoe took it by the scruff of the neck.

Within the space of the seven minutes between the 51st and the 58th, he had a hat-trick, at that time the second-fastest in the history of the Premier League.

His first was gloriously