When I missed my son's hockey registration deadline, I faced off with my mom guilt

This First Person column is the experience of Jill Barber, who lives in Vancouver. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ .

On a late August afternoon during a family vacation, my husband received a text from the manager of our son's hockey team, surprised that she didn't see Josh's name on the roster. 

That was impossible. "I am certain that I signed him up during early bird registration last spring," I said. 

In our household, my husband does the volunteer coaching and I handle all of the kids' registrations. But when I checked online, it was shockingly clear that I had somehow failed to register him, and now there were no more spots available in the league. 

I had really dropped the ball — or, as was the case, the puck.

For Josh, hockey provides a great sense of joy and pride. He loves being part of a team, giving his best performance on the ice and the thrill of scoring a hard-earned goal. In short, it serves his soul. 

I thought back to last April when I should have registered him but hadn't. 

I'm a professional musician, and performing and songwriting are a crucial part of my identity. In the same way that Josh doesn't just play hockey — he is a hockey player — being a musician is how I find meaning in the world. But it's a career that, much like raising kids, is a demanding proposition that often requires a lot of personal sacrifice. 

Sometimes it means missing the first day of school (in Vancouver) because you're in the studio recording Christmas songs (in Toronto). Sometimes it means rushing through bedtime stories because you have a song idea that you absolutely must get down.

Regardless, you almost always end up missing something.

Last April, I was focused on the