Ski goggles and the full Flintoff: Lionesses bask in the spotlight

For some years now, England’s Lionesses and their ever-growing army of allies have not so much demanded as politely suggested they should be treated equally to their male counterparts and with a penalty shootout looming against Germany on Sunday night, it looked like they might finally achieve parity in the most hideously predictable manner imaginable. But with 10 minutes of extra time remaining, Chloe Kelly stuck out a toe to stab the ball past Merle Frohms in the German goal to avoid the trauma of the inevitable shootout defeat, before removing her shirt and putting it back on again all the better to keep the ball down by the corner flag for most of the next 10 minutes.

While the Fiver has no particular desire to get involved in any kind of tedious culture war, it’s worth noting that the match was played in front of a crowd of 87,192 people, almost all of whom seemed to be having – whisper it – a genuinely good time. The sound of songs about German bombers was conspicuous by its absence, while there was barely a puce middle-aged face contorted with spittle-flecked rage to be seen. As England collected their first major trophy since 1966 the crowd basked in bawdy bonhomie rather than jingoistic triumphalism – it was international football, Clive … but not as we know it.

This morning, England’s jubilant players emerged blinking into the sunlight, with several looking commendably the worse for wear. Dark glasses were employed by many to hide the ravages of what one presumes was a raucous night of well-earned celebration, while Lucy Bronze appeared to have gone “full Flintoff” and pitched up at a packed Trafalgar Square looking heartwarmingly refreshed and wearing what looked suspiciously like ski goggles. “There was lots