Premier League: All 20 clubs if they were a racehorse at Cheltenham Festival

How many times in the Premier League have you heard phrases like ‘it’s a two-horse race’?

Every time the hunt for the title in England’s top-flight becomes even vaguely entertaining, you can guarantee that the equestrian clichés will swiftly make an appearance and no doubt we’re incredibly guilty of it too.

In fact, not only do the horse hints hit home heavily with Manchester City and Liverpool slugging it out to dominate England, but we also happen to be in the midst of one of sport’s finest events: Cheltenham Festival.

The madness of the Premier League and four days of horse-racing action in Gloucestershire might feel worlds apart, but you only have to look at all those idioms and sayings to see that they’re closer than you might imagine.

Thomas Tuchel is at the reins of Chelsea, you say? Roy Hodgson got back in the saddle at Watford, did he? Jurgen Klopp is chomping at the bit to win a second Premier League title, am I right?

Ok, even if you think we’re clutching at straws – do horses eat that? – then let’s at least bask in the amusing silliness and shenanigans of imagining that the Premier League season was literally like a horse race.

And no, that’s not just a case of us pointing out that poor Norwich are falling away and that Liverpool are making a charge but rather, we’re immersing ourselves firmly in the world of Cheltenham.

We’re going to be assigning each Premier League club their own horse name – 18-character limit applies – as well as pre-race descriptions based light-heartedly on the stereotypes surrounding each side.

In other words, don’t take what we say too seriously, because as much as the idea of a Tottenham Hotspur stallion literally finishing third in a two-horse race certainly amuses, it’s never