Liverpool, Real Madrid and likable doyens of the modern game

After a season that has become more extraordinary with every passing week, it all comes down to this. Two teams fuelled by a sense of destiny, competing for a huge prize at a gleaming modern football cathedral; it’s just a shame somebody has to lose. And yet, when The Fiver submitted its 3,000-word opus on the League Two playoff final to The Man, it was sent back to us in a thousand pieces, the confetti arranged on what passes for a desk to spell two words: BIG CUP.

And if that opening gambit was more telegraphed than a $tevie Mbe Hollywood pass, Saturday night’s showdown in Paris promises to be far less predictable. Liverpool will start as favourites, but Real Madrid have shown they can destroy a carefully-built Big Cup project in 90 seconds, let alone 90 minutes. After increasingly dramatic late comebacks against PSG, Chelsea and Manchester City, we’re expecting Karim Benzema to pop up with a late winner halfway through Liverpool’s trophy parade.

So if you’re the sort of fan who likes to post your chosen team’s number of “UCLs” across all available Social Media Disgraces, as if you somehow contributed in any meaningful way, here are some patented Fiver analytics for you. Liverpool can move to seven Big Cups, moving them level with Milan – but, more importantly, spoiling the flow of that dreary “we’ve won it [x] times” chant. Madrid have, of course, won 13 – not that they like to talk about it. That’s right, The Fiver is poking fun at teams for winning too many Big Cups. But what else is there?

Both teams have earned their place, and both are coached by likable doyens of the modern game. Carlo Ancelotti’s in-game tactical tweaks may amount to a chat with Luka Modric and a theatrical raise of the eyebrow – but hey, it