Karim Benzema's completely ridiculous one-man show at Chelsea - The Warm-Up

THURSDAY'S BIG STORIES A Head Like A Traction Engine Ad/> There are headers, and then there are headers. Karim Benzema's second goal was a very, very good header, one of those pleasing redirections. Cross comes over this way, header goes back that way; all relevant laws of physics and biology remain unbroken.

Fine work. TransfersMan Utd plan Ten Hag shortlist as Inter Miami line up Ronaldo swoop — Paper Round3 HOURS AGO Karim Benzema's first header was ludicrous. Honestly, we're not even sure a head should be able to do that.

There aren't enough muscles in the general area. Over comes the ball, after a rat-a-tat exchange with Vinicius Jr., and Benzema rises and hits it like, like … well, like what? Something volleyball? Something tennis? Not silly enough. Like a superhero punching a bus through a building? Better, though it doesn't quite catch the precision of the thing.

/> As you can see, we're struggling. But nothing like a head, we can be clear on that. It was a goal so brilliant it went off into daftness, and in that respect it rather suited what was, in the end, a very silly game of football.

As often seems to happen in this competition, Real Madrid played up to their reputations: Toni Kroos and Luka Modrić still brilliant and still refusing to age; everybody around them working ferociously hard. Vinicius Jr and Ferland Mendy took possession of their side of the pitch, and Chelsea never got it back. The hosts, meanwhile, played down to their worst instincts.