James Wade says being at his best gives a feeling of relief, rather than pride

James Wade says he feels more relief than pride when he overcomes the challenges of bipolar disorder and performs at his best.

The 42-year-old was diagnosed with the mental health condition in 2009 just as he had made his way to the top of the sport, having won a raft of major tournaments in the previous two years.

Wade, who is an ambassador for charity Bipolar UK, has been able to navigate the challenges the illness has presented to remain among the elite players, but concedes that success often comes with a sense of relief rather than pride.

“Proud is probably not a word that would come into it really,” he told the PA news agency. “When I do well, I tick my own boxes in my mind.

“I know I can still do it, and I still can do it. When I do what I’ve been doing, at times, I just stand back and I feel probably relieved, because I know I can do it.

“But I also know how hard I can make it for myself. It’s nothing to do about anyone else, it’s about how I am and how I’m doing.”

There are many triggers to Wade’s illness, including a packed schedule, but he can spot the signs and knows how to manage it.

“I find it exhausting talking to a lot of people like you’re expected to because sometimes I just want to sit there and be quiet,” he said. “If you do that for six days, seven days, doing something that’s hard work for you, which other people take for granted, it mentally just drains you.

“In it you start feeling really negative about everything. It makes you hate everything around that.

“And it can happen that quick. I had a couple, three, four days like that, but I went fishing, came back and felt really refreshed, to be fair.

“So you know, quite lucky. It didn’t go into a big valley of doom and gloom, which you can do for