‘Is that for me?’ Even Jurgen Klopp sees the funny side of Manchester United’s managerial situation

"Is that for me?" a chuckling Jurgen Klopp asked as he entered the press conference room. He was looking at an A4 sheet with the emboldened and sizeable word 'CONTRACT' above the Manchester United crest.

Below the crest read, "Congratulations on joining Manchester United. Please sign your contract below." Klopp must have welcomed the levity after bristling at a Scandinavian reporter in the tunnel minutes earlier. The 'contract' is a dummy used for youngsters when they receive their first professional deal.

Few United fans would publicly care to admit they would have the Liverpool manager in a heartbeat. Klopp may be free in the summer but he will not be available. The nearest he might get to United is if he is summoned for some BBC punditry training across Salford Quays at Media City.

Securing one of the most raucous victories against Liverpool does not make the United manager bulletproof. Last week's news vacuum was filled by the prospect of Gareth Southgate replacing Erik ten Hag. That seemed to go down about as well as that cross on the collar of the new England shirt.

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No right-minded United supporter leaning towards a managerial change would have Southgate over Ten Hag. United have not appointed an English manager since 1981 and this is not a golden period for Anglo coaches. Southgate and Graham Potter have done laudable work. Not laudable enough to manage the most scrutinised sporting institution on the planet.

And so we come back to the issue raised by this correspondent weeks ago: there is not an obvious replacement for the incumbent