I was actually scared of getting picked on by Bury's brilliantly terrifying pantomime dame

A chill fear sweeps the audience. Grown ups shrink into their seats, as the man with the heaving, fake breasts and the towering red wig searches out a victim.

Their gaze travels past me and settles, instead, on the dad in the next row. An uncomfortable interrogation begins. A name and occupation are disclosed, and thus, the victim becomes the reluctant comic target for the remaining 90 minutes of the show.

The palpable sense of panic is testament to the acerbic performance of Widow Twankey (Neil Jennings) and the traditional Northern music hall atmosphere evoked by this year’s pantomime offering at Bury’s Met theatre. The familiar story of how slum-dwelling Aladdin securies the services of a genie has been given a modern makeover by writer Ben Richards, whose sharp, witty script buzzes with daft humour, pop music, and even a few iambic pentameters.

As you’d expect, rival towns, including Oldham and Bolton, get a bashing (along with the unfortunate gentleman in the front row). There’s also a few passing political jokes (sample: “We don’t have a doorbell any more. In fact, we don’t have a door. We burnt it when the fuel cap went up.”)

Production company The Big Tiny have a reputation for making use of puppets in their plays - and this panto offering includes a singing crocodile as well as a ‘spitting’ camel (note: do take something waterproof with you)... not to mention some close-up magic tricks.

The fast-moving production has the anarchic energy of a kids’ breakfast TV show. The audience is sprayed with Supersoakers. Kids are invited to play a madcap laundry throwing game. Young children in the audience respond particularly well - with many shouting out suggestions and commentary at the wrong (or perhaps, right)