‘I forget I am 58’ – how lesbian players found a sense of belonging in football

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Football is a great tool to connect people, get in touch with old friends and have fun. That perhaps is not telling you anything new but it is what MissKix experience in their weekly training sessions. The team based in Brighton is predominantly composed of lesbian women in their 40s, 50s and 60s, who are finally fulfilling their dreams of being part of a club.

“We didn’t have that opportunity when we were younger, so we’re very appreciative of making the most of it now,” says Andy Cook, one of the founding members. She went to the first MissKix session back in 2016 and is still showing off her skills with the group six years later. Even though some members have left and others joined, Cook feels the connection with her teammates – current and former – goes beyond football.

“The stories of discrimination and difficulties that people have faced in their upbringing bond us,” she says. “There is also the struggle to reach a sense of positive identity, a sense of belonging, and live in the way we want to live. To feel OK about ourselves without internalising that stigma, that homophobia.”

Clare Brunet, one of the first members, got the ball rolling by getting in touch with friends from the LGBTQ+ community and was able to get 16 women to have a kickaround in an unlit park behind someone’s house. Years later, the development is there for everyone to see: they rent a pitch for training sessions, have a coach to help improve their performance and are affiliated to the local Southern Combination Premier Division club AFC Varndeanians.