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I felt like shaking Scotland flops before scaling Germany's highest peak and hopefully their Zugspitze trip is inspiration

Full of bravado and confidence before the event. But when reality hits? You crumble. Reduced to a quivering wreck. Sound familiar?

You might think I’m referring to Scotland’s performance against Germany in Munich on Friday night. That’s certainly how it panned out for Steve Clarke’s men in the Allianz Arena. But no, I’m talking about me going up The Zugspitze - Germany’s highest mountain.

Obviously, we could have scaled Mount Wank instead, on the other side of Partnach river. But nah, I was a lot more cock-sure than that. And anyway, at a mere 5,840 feet high - Wank was tiny in comparison. The Zugspitze seemed like a good idea at the time. A scenic ride on a cable car through the Bavarian Alps, taking in the sights of Garmisch-Partenkirchen. And after a quick re-acquaintance with the toilet pan, the first 10 minutes or so was absolutely fine. The boldness and bluster was still there.

At one point, I even dared to look through the glass square on the floor, as we made our way up towards 10,000 feet. That’s about two Ben Nevis’, by the way. But then came the tickly bit. You know when the cable car reaches the top of a pylon and changes direction? That wee rumbling sound, before the thing rocks from side to side? Aye, that bit. All of a sudden, I was regretting that extra German sausage I had for breakfast. And I had definitely lost my swagger from earlier on.

Genuinely, my face turned the same colour as the snow on the side of The Zugspitze. The views were incredible, if you had the bottle to look out. It was when we started to travel up the actual rock face that I asked myself a serious question. Why the f**k did I agree to this? But I had to. This was once-in-a-life-time stuff. When was I ever going to be back in

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