How the entire course of history can be changed by tiny bodychecks

1956 was a memorable year for both Manchester City and Real Madrid. That June, Madrid won the inaugural edition of the hot, new, pan-European club football competition Li’l Cup – look how li’l! – while a month before in May, City triumphed in the FA Cup final, Bert Trautmann’s neck, Don Revie cosplaying as Nandor Hidegkuti, all that. Real immediately built on their success and by the mid-60s had conquered Europe on another five occasions. City also moved on, and by this time found themselves in the Second Division losing at home to Swindon in front of 8,015 fans. Of course they did. Oh old-school City! You’ll always have a very special place in everyone’s heart.

However, just as a week is a long time in politics, 57 years are a long time in football. And look at everyone now! Li’l Cup is all grown up; Madrid have 13 wins on their resumé; and City … well, they’ve still to taste the ultimate in European glory, but they’re now the richest club in the world, winning the Premier League is like shelling peas, and the big one in Europe, the one everyone insists they’re not that bothered about but come off it and come on, is surely just a matter of time. Hey, they’d have probably already won it had Kevin De Bruyne not had the contours of his skull rearranged free of charge in last year’s final. Ah, how the entire course of history can be changed by such tiny, strangely downplayed, brazen bodychecks.

City’s luck has to change soon, surely, not least because Pep Guardiola has been busy instilling the sort of relentless winning mentality that was signally missing round Maine Road way in 1957. “That’s why big clubs stay there for a long time,” Pep explained. “When you win, take a shower and go again. We are learning that.” And what