Football is good but penalty shootouts are better and Raith Rovers finally read the room - the Warm-Up

FRIDAY'S BIG STORIES Goals Are For Cowards Ad/> You think you like football? You are like a little baby. Egypt love football so much that they play an extra half hour of it whenever they possibly can. Thursday's semi-final against Cameroon was their third spell of extra-time in as many knockout rounds.

Why play 90 minutes? The rules say you can play 120 if you defend extra nicely. TransfersReal Madrid make approach to pair Haaland with Mbappe – Paper Round9 HOURS AGO What's that? You like football and goals? Oh. Well, we can't help you there.

Being polite, we could call the game tight, or tactical, or maybe even intriguing. Being realistic, we could call it dull. Cameroon had a bright first half and even hit the bar, but by the second things had got so bogged down that Carlos Queiroz decided to wander onto the pitch and shout at the referee, just to feel something.

And the referee decided to send him off, just to feel something back. Quite why Queiroz was so aggravated is a mystery, for a nothing game in which nothing happens suits Egypt perfectly. Wait for the mistake, wait for the mistake, wait for Mo Salah to do something beautiful, wait for the mistake… and if none of that comes off, then penalties.

Egypt have yet to miss a kick in a shootout this tournament, although in fairness they only got to take three last night. That's how bad Cameroon's efforts were. You'd understand perfectly if Harold Moukoudi, James Lea Siliki and Clinton N'Jie never want to see the footage of the shootout ever again.

And we wish them luck with that noble effort. But for the rest of us, what they delivered was an object lesson in how not to take penalties. Three object lessons, in fact; three How Not To Do Its.