Farewell Jill Scott, England legend. And yes, it really did happen

An England international back in the days long before it became fashionable – and before it became fashionable for the mainstream media to ram her sport down the throats of male fans too stupid to realise they were under no obligation to watch it – Jill Scott has announced her retirement from the sport with the release of an emotive epistle that would bring floods of tears to a glass eye.

In a lengthy and often amusing farewell, the 35-year-old Mackem lass reflected on her days growing up kicking a ball around with the local Wearside lads and wearing the men’s hand-me-downs at her first senior club, Sunderland. She recalled the pre- and post-match interviews she used to conduct with herself as she subsequently blew her university loan on the thousands of gallons of petrol that would fuel her beat-up car’s endless cross-country jaunts to and from her next senior gig with Everton. Then there was her step up to the Manchester City first team where – to her astonishment – she didn’t actually have to launder her own kit.

A stellar career in the English women’s game peaked with victory at the Euros, on a night in which she came off the bench to play in front of 87,000 people, played a blinder, was caught effing and jeffing at an opponent by the BBC cameras, got a hug from Prince William and a medal around her neck. “I have a gold medal,” she wrote. “I can’t stop looking at it, three weeks later. It’s so heavy. It’s so real. I keep dropping it, and I have to ask myself: was I really there? Did this really happen? Did I really swear live on TV? Did I really hug Prince William?” Yes, Jill. Yes you did. And then you conducted an actual interview with the trophy in Trafalgar Square.

Apparently retiring from football for a