Cristiano Ronaldo’s trip to Portugal and a tale of two Kit Kats

The Fiver has been to Portugal only once, a trip that was most memorable for some lost luggage (bad), some lost keys (bad), and the moment an overly generous but malfunctioning vending machine at the Estádio da Luz erroneously delivered two Kit Kats instead of one at half-time during a Big Cup dead rubber between Benfica and Schalke (good).

Whether Cristiano Ronaldo experienced such dizzying highs, terrifying lows and chocolate-covered wafery middles during his recent trip to his homeland remains to be seen but Ralf Rangnick was today asked about it all again and refused to clarify whether he and Manchester United were aware of the jaunt. “No, because it doesn’t make sense to look back on what was happening in the last six or seven days,” he said, clicking unsubscribe on his weekly copy of The Recap. “For me, it’s important what is happening today and tomorrow. For me, it doesn’t make sense at all to go through all this again. What’s important is that he and [fast] Edi [Cavani] are both back in training and they’re both available for tomorrow.”

Having missed the derby demolition last weekend Ronaldo is available for the visit of Tottenham, a clash that could have a significant bearing on the Big Cup spots but, let’s be honest, is rather more likely to end up playing into the Big Vase race.

Elsewhere, the only Saturday 3pm kick-off in the English top flight is in west London where Brentford welcome Burnley. “We have the mentality that we can go anywhere and nick a result!” roared Burnley defender Leonidas Nathan Collins. And the weekend Premier League action kicks off on the south coast where Brighton take on a Liverpool side still stinging from their meaningless defeat to Inter in midweek. “Always in life reaction is