Chess scandal: Out with anal beads, in with cheating accusations

After weeks of anal bead jokes, conspiracy theories and cheating rumours that have rocked the chess world, the gloves are now truly off.

World Champion Magnus Carlsen has finally released a statement following his surprising defeat on 4 September at the Sinquefield Cup in Saint Louis to 19-year-old Hans Niemann, who has been accused of cheating online and using anal beads to… stimulate his chances of winning IRL.

We here at Euronews Culture are still trying to figure out quite how cheating-by-sex-toy works, but we’re trying out several vibrating configurations and will get back to you.

But back to Carlsen.

Last week, he quit an online game in the Julius Baer Generation Cup after playing only one move, leaving announcers shocked and escalating the controversy. 

He has stated on Twitter on 26 September that he thinks Niemann is a cheater, over board and online. Furthermore, he now refuses to ever compete against him ever again.

“I believe that Niemann has cheated more - and more recently - than he has publicly admitted,” Carlsen wrote. “His over-the-board progress has been unusual, and throughout our game in the Sinquefield Cup I had the impression that he wasn’t tense or even fully concentrating on the game in critical positions, while outplaying me as black in a way I think only a handful of players can do.”

The full statement in text:

Dear Chess World,

At the 2022 Sinquefield Cup, I made the unprecedented professional decision to withdraw from the tournament after my round three game against Hans Niemann. A week later during the Champions Chess Tour, I resigned against Hans Niemann after playing only one move.

I know that my actions have frustrated many in the chess community. I’m frustrated. I want to play chess. I want to