Celtic champagne cracked open on the Hotline as laughing Hoops diehards smell something fishy about Rangers

The Celtic punters on the Hotline say they're happy to swap fish teas for champagne and caviar as they zero in on another domestic clean sweep.

Bill Lockerbie, Northampton, had a message for regular caller Gary Stevenson as he said: "I nearly fell out of my bed laughing at Gazza from Newtonhill's latest offering, stating that his team have bigger fish to fry while Celtic are bigging up Sunday's stroll in the park. In fairness I think he meant to type a word that ryhmes with fish, because that's what they've been been all season, utter fish! As for Celtic bigging up, don't flatter your team Gazza and no, the whole of Scotland is not behind whoever you're talking about."

And Arrin Geddes, Irvine, reeled another claim in as he said: "I hope Gary Stevenson enjoys every minute of the Rangers European run but the bottom line is, when the San Francisco dollars start rolling in, there’ll be none of it spent on silver polish, again. Go fry the bigger fish, we’ll have the champagne and caviar."

Paul McArdle, Gourock, said: "Barry Ferguson walks into McDonald's and asks for 2 whoppers. The counter guy serving goes 'OK, here's two, you're going to beat Celtic on Sunday and also win the Europa League".

A Whopper at McDonald's? Come on, Paul, we all know that's Burger King. Should have gone for a Filet-O-Fish...

Moving swiftly on, Gordon Ashley, Ayr, said: "It must be embarrassing for Rangers fans arguing whether they are the worst ever team in the Champions League, especially when Celtic have just made it out the groups for the fourth time! So I'll help them out, they are the worst-ever team in the four-team format but the change in format means they will be stuck with that record forever."

But Alan Milligan retorted: "All these