It is not the immortal quote associated with ITV's Champions League coverage of Manchester United but Jon Champion's utterance rings true as their chaotic group stage nears its conclusion. "There is no such thing as a quiet night in with Manchester United," Champion declared.
That was 21 years ago in Basel, the scene of Ruud van Nistelrooy's virtuoso winner. When United returned to that utilitarian ground in 2011 they were ejected at the group stage.
In two weeks, United supporters are braced for another premature exit. As enthralling as United have been with their drama and goal gluts, they have conceded more than they have scored, lost three times as many games as they have won and are bottom of Group A.
This has been the most engrossing group stage United have been involved in since the group of death in the Treble-winning season. READ MORE: Onana is doing what De Gea did READ MORE: Onana's reaction after goals show he needs to change United ended that group second to Bayern Munich and require an identical outcome for their name to be encased in one of those mini footballs for the round-of-16 draw.