Red Sox star Jarren Duran opens up about trying to take his own life: 'I didn’t even want to be here anymore'

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This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

The Boston Red Sox are the subject for Netflix’s latest behind-the-scenes docuseries, entitled "The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox."

One of the interviews conducted during the 2024 season was with outfielder Jarren Duran, who had a breakout All-Star campaign. But the interview was quite the serious one, as he discussed his 2021 and 2022 seasons, which he said fueled his attempted suicide. 

Duran has been open about his mental health struggles he’s dealt with, as he wasn’t meeting his high expectations within the organization to start his big league career. 

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Jarren Duran #16 of the Boston Red Sox prepares to bat against the Kansas City Royals at Kauffman Stadium on Aug. 5, 2024 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Ed Zurga/Getty Images)

He revealed that he got the point where "I was sitting in my room. I had my rifle, and I had a bullet, and I pulled the trigger, and the gun clicked, but nothing happened."

"To this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off. I took it as a sign of, ‘I might have to be here for a reason,’ so that’s when I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off," Duran said in the docuseries, per ESPN. "I was like, ‘Do I want to be here, or do I not want to be here? That happened for a reason, and obviously you’re here for a reason, so let’s be the way you want to be and play [the way] you want to play and live the way you