Red-ball alert: Joe Root and fellow Ashes hopes are doing next to nothing in the IPL

The guard dies. But it does not surrender! These famous words may or may not have been uttered at the battle of Waterloo by Pierre Cambronne, one of those indestructible French imperial general types who looks like his entire body has been patched together from goose liver, marzipan, powdered wig and duelling scars.

Admittedly some sources record Cambronne’s actual response on being asked to surrender as simply “shit”; which sounds, on balance, more relatable. But it doesn’t really matter. The to-the-death stuff is great optics, eyeballs, vibes, energy.

And in this same vein there has been something of the no-surrender general about Stuart Broad’s inexhaustible and increasingly entertaining commitment to preserving the legend and primacy of the Ashes. Which, just to remind everyone, starts in two months’ time and which probably should be getting a bit more in the way of buildup ahead of what yet turn out to be its own doomed last stand this summer.

For now Broad is pretty much a lone buzz generator and hype-man. The quotes, well, the quotes have been vintage, knee-pounding stuff. At the start of the week Broad announced, Warne-style, that he had invented a new delivery, a new kind of out-swinger designed specifically to derail the careers of Steve Smith and Marnus Labuschagne, which may or may not turn out to be the case, but is obviously just lovely stuff.

After that Broad summarily cancelled the 2021-22 Ashes series, not because England lost 4-0, but because it basically didn’t feel good or real. So that’s that one done and scrubbed. He also predicted Australia’s attempts to copy Bazball would end in disaster and be “brilliant for England” the only issue being Australia have not made any suggestion they would attempt