Nick Bosa's model girlfriend starts summer in a pink bikini on a tennis court, crazy Mark Hamill & plandemic!

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Over the hump and safely onto the other side of our first full week of May. All eyes are now on the weekend — and, of course, on that cruise ship that's apparently carrying the Bubonic Plague.

Amazing. You click on ONE thing about it on Twitter, and all of a sudden, your entire timeline is just filled with a bunch of people who are suddenly epidemiologists. Feels good to be back in 2020! It's like I never left.

The good news? The WHO says not to worry, and if we've learned anything over the years, it's that the WHO can be trusted.

ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON'T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!

They're all wasted!

Let's roll.

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps — the one where Nick Bosa's model girlfriend, Ella Ailiff, gets summer rolling by smoking tennis balls in a pink bikini. As one does, of course.

Nick Bosa of the San Francisco 49ers stands on the sidelines during the national anthem before an NFL game against the Arizona Cardinals at Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara, Calif., on Sept. 21, 2025. (Brooke Sutton/Getty Images)

What else? I've got Ted Turner memories from his early days in Atlanta, a wild scene last night in St. Louis, and this Spencer Pratt out in California seems like a winner. I don't know him from Adam, but as someone who has lived in Free Florida for his whole life, I'd like to think I can spot talent when I see it.

This cat has it.

OK, grab you whatever you have handy today — dealer's choice! — and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

Which number pandemic is this for you?

Let's spin the wheel and start with the predictable freakout over this rat virus on the cruise ship. No, I ain't looking up the name. I