Lionel Messi swerves Saudi Arabia for a megastar MLS shindig in Miami

Barry, Maurice and Robin Gibb, Gloria Estefan and her Sound Machine, Crockett and Tubbs, Steve Van Zandt, Dan Marino, Tony Montana, The Rock, Gentle Ben, Jon Secada, Don Shula, Police Academy 5, Jimmy Buckets. Each was drawn to Miami, and the city handed them back star quality in spades.

After Paris, where he looked rather bored and didn’t like the traffic, Lionel Messi is the latest to move to Miami to seek his fortune. Or rather, another fortune. And other fortunes were available. After Saudi Arabia’s LIV-grab for golf paid off earlier this week, the transfer rumour mill dances to the Dr Beat of ageing legends taking up their share of that sweet, sweet, Public Investment Fund capital.

The Saudi Pro League is going through a similar moment to that once experienced in the Carling Premiership, when the likes of Emerson and Alen Boksic found themselves leafing through Teesside estate agent portfolios. Where’s best for shopping? Is Dubai close? But not Lionel, whose sidestepping of the Saudi experience at least means no more Cristiano Ronaldo reunions. Nobody sensible wants all that again. “If it had been a matter of money, I would have gone to Saudi Arabia or elsewhere,” Messi said, rather pointedly.

Talking of reunions, there will be no prodigal return for Messi, as the suits at Barcelona seemed to feel they were entitled to. “President [Joan] Laporta understood and respected Messi’s decision to want to compete in a league with fewer demands, further away from the spotlight and the pressure he has been subject to in recent years,” yelped an extract from an actual club statement, presumably penned in salt.

That Barça don’t have the proverbial to do the proverbial in, and would have even less if they re-engaged the player