Kevin De Bruyne is so good that it's actually kind of weird - The Warm-Up

THURSDAY'S BIG STORIES Four goals, Kevin? Four? Ad/> Did you think that catastrophic defeat to Real Madrid might lead to a Manchester City collapse? You weren't alone. The Warm-Up was right there with you. Newcastle next, we thought.

Tricky. And then Wolves. Also tricky.

Everything's a banana skin, if you're already stumbling. Champions League'The only criticism we can get' — De Bruyne on City's Champions League chase04/05/2022 AT 10:31 Well, 10 goals and two wins later, don't we all look very silly. Erling Braut Haaland is on his way to brutalise the coming seasons, and Kevin De Bruyne is here to take care of the business end of this one.

A goal, a brace, a hat trick. These are the accepted and sensible units of goalscoring. You get a note on the result for one goal, you'll probably get man of the match for two, and three means you get to take the football home.

Football understands goals when they arrive in these quantities. Four is not a sensible number of goals. Four suggests some glitch in the game, some interruption to the usual order of things.

An early red card, perhaps, or a youth teamer in goal. A particular nightmare for one or a more defenders. So the fact that De Bruyne scored four against Wolves while nothing particularly weird was going on is, perhaps, testament to just how good he is.

Or perhaps, to help preserve some sense of order, he is the weirdness. The weirdness is him. He isn't just wonderfully good; he's weirdly, wonderfully good.

The fact that he scored the first three with his notionally weaker left only helps our case here. So, too, the fact that he scores all kinds of goals. His first against Wolves was a Sergio Aguero goal: a well-timed run through the defence, a tight angle made to look