Kelly Holmes comes out as gay: ‘I needed to do this now, for me’

Gay rights campaigners have welcomed Dame Kelly Holmes’ decision to come out at the age of 52, in a move that sparked questions about how many older people remain afraid to be open about their sexuality after growing up in more homophobic times.

The double Olympic gold medallist lifted a painful 34-year public silence on her sexuality on Sunday, saying that she felt as if she was going to “explode with excitement” by finally coming out after years in which she felt depressed, anxious and even suicidal, keeping her secret from all but close family and friends.

Holmes, who realised she was a lesbian when she kissed a fellow female soldier in the army in 1988, told the Sunday Mirror: “It was illegal to be gay in the army. The risk, if you were caught, was to be arrested, court-martialled, thrown out, sometimes jailed. I had wanted to be in the armed forces since I was 14 and was desperate to stay in, so couldn’t let them know. But it was really hard because it consumed my life with fear.”

She described how after winning gold medals in the 800m and 1,500m at the Athens Olympics in 2004, she was plagued with worry that she would be outed.

“The reason I didn’t want it to come out was that I didn’t really know people in sport … that were gay,” she said. “The ban in the army had only been lifted four years [before] and I had never asked anyone if there was any sort of retribution if I said something. I was still absolutely petrified.

“I needed to do this now, for me,” she told the Sunday Mirror. “It was my decision. I’m nervous about saying it. I feel like I’m going to explode with excitement. Sometimes I cry with relief. The moment this comes out, I’m essentially getting rid of that fear.”

Office for National Statistics figures