'It was so dark': Tennis star Nick Kyrgios opens up on mental health struggles

By Matias Grez, CNN

Updated 0909 GMT (1709 HKT) May 6, 2022

Nick Kyrgios has opened up about his struggles with mental health.

(CNN)Tennis star Nick Kyrgios has opened about the mental health issues that he has battled throughout his career, saying he struggled with drug and alcohol abuse and also self-harm.

The enigmatic Australian, whose on-court outbursts often make him a divisive figure among tennis fans, has always been candid about his complicated relationship with the sport. Kyrgios admitted he «hated» his life but says the global lockdown in 2020 due to the coronavirus pandemic helped him begin to overcome some of those battles after he had «spiraled out of control.»«It was very serious, to the point of self-harm and it's not okay,» the 27-year-old told Wide World of Sports. «I guess I pushed everyone that cared about me away and I wasn't communicating, and I just shut down real life and I was trying to handle and tackle my problems head-on. Kyrgios, Kokkinakis end 'Special Ks' show with doubles triumph»I was abusing alcohol a lot, drugs and that spiraled out of control. Now, I barely drink, I literally have a glass of wine at dinner. That was the initial kind of thing I had to clean up a little bit and then build my relationship back with my family and get into healthier habits like the basics; like diet, getting good sleep, trying to train a little bit more and that was it. Read More«I think Covid helped me a lot with that.»During his darkest moments, Kyrgios says he felt like he was «letting people down all the time.» He says he believed at times that people he met «really didn't care who I was as a human being, rather just a tennis player… the crazy tennis player.»He added: «I felt worthless to be honest, I