Inside the silent messages Boye Mafe sends every game day - ESPN

CINCINNATI — Before the chaos of each game unfolds, Cincinnati Bengals defensive end Boye Mafe has a conversation that centers him in a special place.

He closes his eyes and starts talking to his mother, Bola, who died of pancreatic cancer in 2018. And in those moments, Mafe lays out his vision for what's about to unfold.

I know you're watching over me. I want to put on a show for you. I love you and this is what I'm going to do for you.

Then he'll wrap up the message by using American Sign Language to say «I love you» before he continues the rest of his pregame routine. Mafe does the same after each sack.

But it's about more than signs. Everything Mafe does is about what he signals. From those messages to Bola, to his pregame outfits, to how he plays, it's all about honoring the systems and structures that built him into one of the NFL's leading pass rushers and a Super Bowl champion.

«I try not to let circumstances dictate who I am,» Mafe told ESPN. «At the end of the day, I am who I am and I want to be true to who I am.»

That doesn't come easily. Mafe, the son of proud Nigerians, grapples with a phenomenon that is common among those with generational ties to other places — the more time passes, the harder it is to stay connected to those roots.

But all it takes is one glance on game day to see just how strong those ties are.

To fully understand why Mafe signs to his late mother requires understanding his upbringing in the western suburbs of Minneapolis.

Mafe and his siblings often communicate via American Sign Language. Starting with his older sister, Tayo, they all decided to study it in high school as their alternative language. And over the years the practice has stuck, even during games. Once, Tayo recalled