Former New Zealand all-rounder Chris Cairns talks about pain caused by match-fixing trials

New Zealand cricket great Chris Cairns feels he can talk candidly about the pain of match-fixing allegations brought against him now that he has survived multiple health scares. The former allrounder spoke publicly for the first time on Monday about the court battles to clear his name spanning 2012 to 2015. Interviewed on a podcast hosted by media company NZME, Cairns said the high-profile trials had consumed his life and that he had harboured "anger and animosity" after having his credibility scrutinised and his career effectively shredded -- even though he was never found guilty.

The 51-year-old's attitude has changed since suffering a heart attack last August that placed him on life support. He subsequently became paralysed from the waist down after suffering a stroke during one of four open-heart surgeries. In February, he revealed he had been diagnosed with bowel cancer.

Canberra-based Cairns told the podcast the health battles carried a silver lining - helping cleanse his mind of the dark feelings that had hounded him since 2015. "I harboured a lot of anger and frustration, but I carried that silently. I dug my hole in Australia and got on with life ...

but I was angry," he said. "But now, after the last seven months, it's so far down my thinking. It's not a priority.

It seems like another time, another place. "Maybe during that time it (the match-fixing trials) built up the steel in me that allowed me to survive what I went through - because it was about survival at that time. I was on my own, cast as the villain, that was my role.