Dietmar Hamann and Paul Scholes among the six sourest pundits in football

We’ve all seen lists on the best and worst of pundits. What lies beneath and between are those that see only darkness. They are the cultural curmudgeons, experts at being contrarian. Sometimes they might even be right but tales from the underworld are their preferred worldview. Here are six you can rely on for seeing glasses half-empty in a full bar.

1) Dietmar Hamann

The German scored the first Liverpool penalty in the famous shootout win over Milan in 2005, but he wasted no time in getting stuck into the current crop of Champions League runners-up. First, Thiago was one of the most “overrated players in Europe”. Phew. You read it here first. Then, the former defensive midfielder questioned the psychological impact of losing the two big prizes. Once upon a time, Hamann insisted: “In recent years Liverpool, when the chips are down, always find a way to lose.” Didi would be great fun at one of Jurgen’s runners-up parties. 

2) Steve Nicol

The grizzled 80s fullback was the butt of many practical jokes from Liverpool teammates. His autobiography was named Five League Titles and a Packet of Crisps which hints at a GSOH. Unfortunately, little of that bantz comes across on TV as the mean-spirited mouth lays waste to the modern player. On Bukayo Saka, Nicol said: “He’s a player who doesn’t take a lot to come off the field and doesn’t play for a few weeks after a knock.” The Scot went in hard on the Reds’ front three in Paris too: “Liverpool have lost because they spent 45 minutes in the Real Madrid half and if you do that, you expect your playmakers, goalscorers, they have to perform – and they didn’t.” Try telling that to Mo Salah, who was denied by two huge saves from Thibaut Courtois and Sadio Mane, whose shot would surely