Cricket stats give us deep joy, but can never reflect the game’s true drama

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“Statistics are like a ventriloquist’s dummy. Shove your hand far enough up them, and you can make them say whatever you like. Although only children and idiots will take any notice.”

It’s a good line, eh? Sadly it didn’t spring from the mouth of Aristotle, rather the synapse sparkling mind of TMS statistician and comedian, Andy Zaltzman. Anyone familiar with Zaltzman’s work with numbers will know the deep joy that delving into cricket statistics brings both him and listeners, punctuating a day’s play with a tasty numerical morsel to break the tedium, the tension or to simply pass the time. Zaltzman’s comedic brain and sense of timing mean that in his hands statistics are often fun, sometimes frivolous, while also at times serving a semi-serious purpose – to give background or reasoning as to why something might or might not be happening on the field.

“It is about the overall narrative rather than just plucking out quirky numbers that aren’t that relevant. The best stats are ones that provoke a discussion and give an insight into performance or show trends of the game. I’m there to spark a bit of a chat, that’s a real joy,”, the man himself told The Spin last year.

The game itself is increasingly pored over in new ways. Every delivery, stroke and dismissal is logged, filed away in an ever-bulging spreadsheet document to be exhumed and interpreted at a later date. Teams employ analysts to drill into the minutiae, create dossiers on opponents and to inform, challenge and improve the work of their own players. Modern cricket is