Commentary: Manchester United is a joke even to Elon Musk

TOKYO: As the old football saying goes, it’s the hope that kills you. 

Fans of Manchester United may have briefly wished that Elon Musk, the world’s richest man, might actually have been serious when he tweeted he was buying the storied but stumbling English football club. 

He wasn’t, of course - perhaps forgetting that as well as holding a record 20 top division titles, the club also trades on the New York Stock Exchange as Manchester United Plc. The last thing Musk needs is more trouble with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

The Tesla co-founder who has gotten into hot water with regulators owing to a penchant to tweet most anything to his 100 million Twitter followers, would have been a controversial owner, no doubt.

But despite being one of the few professional sports teams in any league with a truly global fan base - including your correspondent in Tokyo, as well as a boyhood Musk - Manchester United are now a shambles on the pitch.

Fans are in dire need of some good news. The club has lost both games so far in the Premier League season, including last week’s 4-0 drubbing by lowly Brentford; it’s nearly 10 years since it won a league title. 

That makes even Musk look like a better alternative as steward than the children of the late Malcolm Glazer, who bought the club in a controversial leveraged buyout in 2005.

So let’s indulge it for a moment: What might an Elon Musk takeover of Manchester United actually have looked like? 

Musk is rich, of course, at least as long as Tesla’s share price holds up.

With Chelsea Football Club selling for about US$5.2 billion, Musk could probably have picked up United (which currently has an enterprise value of US$2.7 billion) with the money made from the Tesla stock he sold last