Chelsea, Roman Abramovich and old-school memories of the Bridge

Winning five Premier League titles, five FA Cups, three League Cups, two Big Cups, two Big Vases, a Super Cup and a Club World Cup is all good and well, but some Chelsea fans of a certain vintage still yearn for how things were before Roman Abramovich pitched his tent in Москва-на-Темзе all those years ago. Life was more innocent back then, what with the electric cattle fence surrounding the pitch, the frequent run-ins with Millwall, betting the farm on a behemoth of a stand in the middle of an economy-jiggering oil crisis and going nine matches without a goal in the old Second Division. Say what you will about Chelsea, but one way or another, they’ve rarely been boring.

Good news, then, for those Blues who secretly preferred the fiscal turbulence of the seventies and eighties. Reports suggest Abramovich has his beady eye on the door marked Выполните одно, an aperture he’s more than willing to sling his hook through of his own volition. According to Swiss billionaire Hansjörg Wyss, Abramovich has put Chelsea up for sale, and is waiting for Wyss to cobble together a consortium willing to meet the valuation. Negotiations are apparently afoot, with Wyss fully aware that events, dear boy, may force Abramovich’s hand.

With the clock ticking apace, it’s a race to the checkouts, rather like the final round of Supermarket Sweep, only without the easy-going charm of Rylan to take the edge off the absurdity. Of course, given Wyss is worth a reported £4.3bn, and anyone else chipping in will also likely have a few quid spare, all of this may ultimately have no effect whatsoever on Chelsea, and the club will continue pootling along as usual, sweeping up every other trophy in its wake. But should Roman take the magic with him when he