‘Women are expected to put up and shut up’: the toxicity of attending men’s football

A sk anyone what they enjoy about attending professional women’s football and the answers will be similar: they are reeled in not only by the quality but the atmosphere, friendliness and inclusivity. With the women’s game growing, the toxicity around men’s football, especially for travelling supporters, is an even more glaring contrast. As the season ends, the Guardian spoke to fans of clubs across the Premier League and EFL who reported offensive chants, language, behaviour and sexual assaults. For women, families, black, Asian and minority ethnic and LGBTQ+ fans, following their team on the road can be difficult and uncomfortable.

One female supporter spoke of experiencing sexual assaults regularly when following her team and going to other games with friends. “I’ve normalised it,” she said. “You’d think I’d turn around and call them out, but I didn’t. Last time, it was only [when] walking back to the car I said to my husband: ‘Oh yeah, that’s happened again.’ I should have been more horrified, but it happens all the time, particularly at away games where people have been drinking all day. They think that’s acceptable. I don’t accept that.”

Other supporters say physical threats are the exception rather than the rule. “You can absolutely have a horrible experience and feel massively uncomfortable but at no point feel that your personal safety is under threat. They are two very different things,” says a female supporter of a Premier League club.

But she adds: “The number of times women are expected to ‘put up and shut up’ in an uncomfortable scenario, or get told: ‘Don’t be soft, you need to harden up – this is football.’ ‘If you want to come to football, you’ve got to grow a pair.’ What? You must be kidding?”

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