Why Fulham’s ticket policy is more craven than the cottage itself

There are few better places to watch football than Fulham. A tight ground with seats close to the pitch, the Thames behind it, and a fine collection of surrounding hostelries able to redeem the poverty of on-pitch offerings by reducing them to a rumour. What more could any supporter want?

Well, to be allowed to go the game for less than the cost of a tank of petrol, a blast of central heating, or 10 minutes of electricity. But the club’s owner, Shahid Khan – in situ for the entirety of nine years – has, in a policy more craven than the cottage itself, decided that his need for an ego-boosting ATM trumps that of fans for whom following Fulham is an identity and a way of life. As such, though the new Riverside Stand has increased capacity by 3,900, the cheapest non-family-enclosure adult ticket for next season’s opening-day game against Liverpool is £65; there are other adult tickets on sale for £100; over-65s are given just £5 off; and in three of four stands, kids must pay between £50 and £70. Or, as Khan himself put it, the development is “a real game-changer”.

This is as unsurprising as it is vomitous because, despite his cunning cultivation of a Great Soprendo tribute-moustache to convince us he’s as cuddly as a literary tiger, Khan has also sought attention in other ways. In 2012, he completed his purchase of the Jacksonville Jaguars NFL franchise, announcing a “new brand identity” and a “brand mission of being proud, bold and committed”. As part of “bringing this philosophy to life”, he introduced a “refinement of the Jacksonville Jaguars logotype and the introduction of a “military-inspired secondary logo”, because if American sport needs one thing, it’s stronger links to guns, war, violence and imperialism.

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