Weghorst’s inept Cup cameo shows chasm Manchester United must cross

W ith 14 minutes remaining, Pep Guardiola made his first substitution of the afternoon. Off came Kevin De Bruyne, the best player on the pitch, perhaps with a view to giving him a rest before next Saturday’s Champions League final. On came a fresh Phil Foden, one of the best young players in Europe. Right. Your move, Erik ten Hag.

So it was that a minute later, Manchester United unveiled the secret weapon that they hoped would win them the 2023 FA Cup: Wout Weghorst.

Moving a large and unwieldy object like Weghorst from the substitutes’ bench on to a football pitch is no simple task. You cannot just send him on, there are processes and protocols to be followed. It took a team of eight men, a hydraulic lift and an intricate system of ropes and pulleys to winch the 30-year-old Dutch forward on to the touchline, whereupon he received his final instructions from Ten Hag, the contents of which we can only guess at.

“Get us a goal” would probably have been pushing his luck for a guy who has scored twice in 30 games for United. More likely it was something a little less ambitious. “Get us a free-kick.” “Get us a pass.” “Get us a header.”

In any case, Weghorst trundled on, clumped around for a while like a confused ruminant, and got his first touch four minutes after coming on. He was offside.

Not that we should be too harsh on Weghorst here: a decent, honest, hard-working player whose only real failing has simply been to find himself in the wrong place at the wrong time, and perhaps in the wrong sport. The real problem is how a club of United’s size can spend a billion pounds in a decade on transfer fees and still find itself sending on Weghorst and Scott McTominay to try to win a cup final. How do you spend a billion pounds