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Daniel Levy’s procrastination means Nagelsmann’s suddenly on the market

There must be something in the London water. Well, of course there is, it’s jobby; thanks to the shower in charge of the country, there’s tonnes of the stuff bobbing up and down the Thames. But it’s also an idiom, and just like exactly this time last week, it gives us an excuse to lash Chelsea and Tottenham together for the purposes of our story. Thing is, neither club appears to be a model of corporate competence right now. Only this morning, Chelsea posted a loss of £121m for the 2021-22 season, a number which doesn’t look all that clever to simple folk like Football Daily. The club blame the Boris Johnson-approved sanctions imposed on former owner Roman Abramovich, which will continue to be felt “in the following years”, as presumably will the £500m splurge set to hit next year, so good luck to everyone at the Bridge. Perhaps someone can find a way of pinning Kalidou Koulibaly and Marc Cucurella on Liz Truss when it all goes up.

Meanwhile up north, Tottenham continue to do Tottenham stuff, taking eight days to sack a manager who had effectively sacked himself eight days ago. With Antonio Conte cluttering up the place all last week, no mean feat seeing as he wasn’t even physically there, Tottenham’s exercise in Olympic-standard foot dragging ensured the club missed out on one of their top targets in Roy Hodg … no, that’s not right, is it … Thomas Tuchel. While Spurs were faffing, the former Chelsea boss took over at Bayern Munich after the German champions, one point off the top of the Bundesliga and through to the quarters of Big Cup with eight wins out of eight, defenestrated Julian Nagelsmann with a ruthless cold-blooded efficiency that would make a mob hit feel like a Duggee hug. Oh Daniel! This is how it’s done.

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Read more on theguardian.com